To be or not to be..!!!

The one question that lingers in my mind from time to time..
Should we be what we should or should we be what we are...
I wish i knew the answer or knew how to get it somehow..
I don't know whats worse..not knowing the answer
or not being able to get the question out of my head..!!

I have been on both sides or this treacherous river..
Both banks looked right when i was on it..
It was not a question of abstinence or indulgence...
it was a question or realizing my true nature..
Is it hedonistic or austere...evil or pure..

Whats this urge to switch sides which comes and goes from time to time..
Why cant i keep myself steady on one bank without looking at the other side..
Things which seemed wrong earlier ..seem right now..
and things which were fun earlier have a way of becoming foul...
we try to fight our sudden urges but seldom fail...
The question is not "why couldn't we ?"...but "should we..?"


I think about it sometimes..mostly drowning it in thoughts of something else..
There is so much confusion and so many routes..its hard to filter one out..
I thought of giving faith a try ... thinking what do i have to loose...
The path was tough and absolutely new..for a non believer fool...
I had tried it earlier but always failed..but this time i gave it all i had
And to my amazement something absolutely unexpected happened..

I found that all things happen for the greater good..
just that without faith its hard to gulp that down...
I gave it a shot and it didn't turn me down...
it helped me whenever i was about to drown...
I searched for this guardian angel all my life..
and now that i found it i dont knw whom to follow...

At the end of the day the biggest question still remains...

WHO AM I..??