Kabhi Dhoop Kabhi Chaav..!!

Jin sapno ke motiyon ko dil main piroya tha,

aaj wo tumne aankhon se baha diye.

Jin khwabon aur khayalon ko phoolon se sajaya tha,

Aaj wo sab tumne ek phoonk se hi murrjha diye.

Jin sunahare dino ko yaad kar k dil khush hota tha..

Aaj wo tumne peetal aur taamba bana diye..

Tumhari har baat ko dil se chipka ke rakha tha,

Na jane kyun tum ye dil hi cheer k chal diye.

Humne to apna bhala bura sonchna chhod diya tha,

Aankhen band kar manzil ki or chale the.

Dil main bharosa aur hath main hath liye,

tumhari zindagi k tarazu main apni khushiyon ko taul chale the.

Hume kya maalum tha ki aadhe raste main tumhara hath choot jayega,

Aankhen khone pe bhi sirf andhera hi andhera nazar aayega.

Lakh pukarne pe bhi tumhari aahat tak mehsoos nahi hui,

shayad main hi pagal tha jo akele hi mazil ki aor chala ja raha tha.

Sath rehne ki kasme khayi thi , vaada kiya tha..

aaj unhi ko todte waqt tumne ek baar na soncha.

Tumhe chot na aaye to sahara ban k piche khada tha,

tumhi ghayal kar k chali jaogi, ek baar na tha soncha.

Syahi se jo likha tha , aankhon se nikli boonden baha gayi,

jo khoon main likha tha use kaise mitaun,?

Aap to khushi khushi alvida keh k chal diye,

Jo gulistaan maine basaya tha use kaise hataun.?

Gir k khada hona seekha hi tha,

Aaj shayad taang hi toot gayi.

ladkhada k chalna seekha hi tha 

ki zindagi apahij banane aa gayi.

Koi baat nahi humsafar, Ye bhi jhel lenge,

Ye dil mazboot hai, Ise bhi seh lenge.

Jitni dhoop badhani hai badha lo aee saaki.

Hum bhi musafir hai , Chav dhoond hi lenge.!!

MAYBE..!!

Sometimes i don't get this world. We say that life is not about the destination but about the journey. Then why did this journey have to be so confusing and unclear. You are asked to make goals and work towards them but no one tells us which way to take when you reach some cross roads working towards them.

Many times i have felt that having walked on way for quite some time you realize that that was'nt the path you should have taken. When you realize this you have two choices. Either retrace your path back till the point you find the right diversion and take the other way or carry on your current path hoping that it will lead your destined path somewhere in the future.

On this branching tertiary path system there are no wrong paths since all of them reach the same destination...Death. All that matters is how you reach there and the experience s you gain on the way. So that when the final day comes and you are transcending this world you have no regrets and no pending wishes which you kept postponing waiting for the right time.

Sometimes the right time is now.!!

The problem comes, as in my case, is when you know the destination but don't know what way to take to reach there. Unable to understand what to focus on.! Which path to take since all the paths look equally good. Being too scared that i wont be able to retrace my steps once i move forward. Too unsure of the path to take next. Being pressured by my family to go ahead on one path,  peer pressured driving me to yet another and my mind wanting to skip all this and take a completely different path.!

So many options but which one is correct..!! Which is the RIGHT CHOICE..!!

During my long and intensive Application and Interview process i was asked various question like
Why MBA?
Why NOW?
etc etc

which after a lot of practice and revision i answered as per the expectations of the reviewer but these questions raised similar questions inside my head and i could not convince myself.!

The problem here is not about not knowing what to do but instead trying to do too many things and not knowing how to put priorities for them.

People often tell me that life is too long and i have a long time ahead of me to figure this all out. The problem is that seeing the majority of people living a boring life and hating their everyday monotonous work life ( me being one of them) makes me wonder that does this regular lifestyle makes life feel longer..!! Would it feel shorter if i led a more meaningful life ..! Something that was much more emancipating that my current life..!! Maybe traveling..!! Maybe working for an NGO..!! Maybe doing a Marketing Job..!!

What i wouldn't give if i could just know the answer..!! But i guess the torment is part of the journey..!! Maybe the pressure , the guilt, the confusion, the despair and the fear are all an integral part of the journey. Maybe they will shape up my future along with everything else..!! MAYBE..!!

Trying to Find My Passion..!!

Clueless , Confused, Skeptical and Scared...

Trying to do something that i never dared..

Forced to accept this monotonous Lifestyle...Always told by others to take the safest side.

Stuck in quicksand...not ready to accept my fate...

Knowing that this wasn't for what i was made..

But not knowing what was i made for..

Desperately need to know that before i completely sink in..!!