Poker Face..!!

Carrying the burden of the world on my shoulders..

Not just the pebbles but even the boulders..

I came to the opening of a tunnel..dark and grim..

The excessive weight filled up to the brim.. 

So many eyes staring at me...

So may people glaring at me..

All eyes filled with sparks of hope..

Everyone hanging on to the rope..

All and everyone i know calling out my name..

Patting my back and adding more weight to the game..

No one trying to understand how much it weigh..

No one bothered to stop and hear my say..

Seeing in me their aspirations...

Not caring about my perspirations..

All eyes stuck on to my success express..

Cant even stop for a short recess...

People have a habit of forcing down their dreams...

Screwing with the free will till it turns so lean...

So many stares..so many hopes...so many prayers so i win the race..

I wish i was a better actor but it ain't easy maintaining a Poker Face.

Marooned in the Meadows...

i did what they told me...

i worked what they asked me..

i went where they wanted me..

i sat where they needed me...

i cried when they comforted me..

i moaned when they hurt me..

i ran when they followed me..

i hid when they saw me..

i cracked when they trampled me..

i dropped when they shot me..

i burned when they disdained me..

i froze when they ignored me..

i skewed when they confronted me..

i bowed when they burdened me..

i stayed anonymous when they called me..

i shouted when they overlooked me..

i grew when they pushed me..

i fell when they picked me..

i flew when they crippled me..

i toppled when they supported me..

i couldn't find what they asked me..

i couldn't understand what they told me..

i was lost when they found me..

i was saved when they accepted me..

Crapentine's Day....

Bringing a little history to perspective...just like on the D day the Christ will fight the Anti Christ and all thats evil will be destroyed...

Similar is the V day... for on this day was the beast born....a half blood...demi god.. born when the "Shoe of Hermes" was shoved up Robert Pattison's ass. The gruesome historic event almost killed Robert Pattison leaving him pale and ghastly for the rest of his life.. The beast flies over the heads of mere mortals changing shape and form to remain invisible and appear innocent..

He chooses his prey carefully..lures him in a place where he can devour him and then takes out his gas propelled Arrow gun which fires 150 rounds per minute. Its a weapon of gigantic proportions and unimaginable power..causing a painful and a very slow death which is self induced by mortals as the beast was cursed that he couldn't kill any one directly.

The beast flaps his wings but not even a leaf ruffles...the silence is eerie and scary but mortals have no clue about any of this in their realm. They carry on their pointless venture of finding mates as the mating season comes close...Carrying on with their minuscule lives knowing not that the beast watches over them to fall in his trap.

As the beast can only fire the weapon when the person is at its most vulnerable and lets his guard down. Staying hungry for many fortnights the beast waited for the V day to come as its only on this day that the beast powers up his weapon to full power..devouring thousands of souls in the blink of an eye. The minions of the beast take the form of Hallmark and Archie's shopkeepers bringing in the food for the beast who rewards them with riches.

As soon a prey enter the work places of these minions his fate is sealed. He is doomed.

The ironical part of this whole evil plan is that the pray has no clue about anything .Only the thought of his mate goes through his head and how it would react on receiving the gift of doom.

And this illusion drives the prey to unimaginable extents in search of "true happiness" , another very clever illusion created my the beast's minions in the media and film industry.

The prey doest exactly what the beast wants it to do knowing not that all his moves are being controlled and monitored.

Then comes the climax....at the time the prey confronts his mate , offering the gift of doom the beast pulls the trigger... the arrows are directioned straight towards the heart so as to prevent any misses... as soon as the arrow strikes the heart the "Timer to Doom" is started which ends in Unholy Matrimony... a time when the prey looses all his will to survive and finally gives in to the will of the beast..The beast then devours the prey till his soul is freed from his mortal body..

But the beast has another trick up his sleeve... his most dangerous minions..."the PANDIT's" , who are favorites of the beast , make sure that even if the prey realises his blunder and tries to change it in his next life.. he is still bound to that mistake for 7 more years... during which the beast shall enjoy devouring him again and again ..till the beast gets bored of the bland taste.. and wants it fresh..

The Most disturbing thought is that we mortals know of this beast but we still tend to ignore him or adore him him in a much more innocent form... we call him - The CUPID...

No one has ever survived to tell this tale....so if i fall his prey .. i want the others to know that i tried... but the beast was too powerfull

Strange little thing called life...

well.. it's rightly said that life doesn't stop to pick you up.. it keep on going n you have to get up yourself n chase it again.. but one thing is for sure that life never ditches you.. it makes up for all the things it made you suffer for... in strange ways... you just need to see it..

I don't believe in god or guardian angels...but i sure believe that life is always like a flowing river.. in order to have the most out of it you just need to be one with the flow.. and not an obstacle in its path.. you need to let go... change.. accept defeat... and let others get to you... just let life make up for all it made you cry for and you will love living it..!!

I am a believer... maybe not a conventional thinker ..

I sure believe that life is a hard ass teacher but it wont ever let you sink down in despair such that you never come up... it always brings you up and back in the light... just let it help you.

I really didn't think i would say this any time soon... but i think i love my life..!!!

Still in the moment...

Everyone used to crib that "growing up sucks" n i used to laugh at those people saying i cant wait to grow up ...

I guess its rightly said that "one maybe wrong but a group is generally right."..

N i realize my huge mistake now.. well growing up does suck...

The worst part of growing up is that you are responsible for all your mistakes and ventures .. n u cant expect to blame it on others hoping that others will understand..

I still remember how i used to hate when being the youngest one i was told everything what i needed to do.. n i used to wish to grow up soon as to stop this anarchy..!!

but now.. what i wont give to be back there again..

when the biggest tension u had was 'Will u get caught for making a fake signature on your report card..' or ... "how would you bunk your coaching today"..

when the biggest life altering decision seemed choosing between clothes when your mommy took you shopping

when the harshest punishment you could get was a smack on the head or being sent out of the class....

when the biggest pain u endured was when u fell n bruised your knee or elbow..

when all our big decisions were taken by elder keeping us out of the hassle...

n now..

when the biggest tension is more like 'what am i doing with my life...!!'

when the biggest life altering decision is more like choosing between parents and your wife..

when the harshest punishment you get is more like being dumped by the only person you ever loved

when the biggest pain you endure is knowing that the person u loved will never love you back...

Ahh...How i wish i could be a kid again....!!

Strangely Jealous..!!

The person u thought would never move on .. who would stay there.. and maybe if moved on would be a long time after you did..

Knowing that that one person moved on..and to add to the misery ..moved on before you even came close to it... makes you realize a very integral part of human behaviour i.e. how fast your feelings can sway from compassion to self loathing... n knowing that you had thought that this day would come but you never thought u would be the one feeling the wrath of the pity..!!

-Food for Thought

In the midst of all that happened...

In the midst of all that happened...

i went from normal to soft...

i tried to find out where i was

but i was so damm lost...

In the midst of all that happened..

i wish i could foresee what's coming...

I wish my gaurdian angel was better at his job..

or atleast i could know what he was planning..

knowing that there ain't a bottom to the pit i am falling...

gives me a strange feeling inside..

i know its not sadness or fear...

Its more like despair with the self loathing on the side..

Having lost at what u thought u were best

and brought down to the ground when u were fair.

this tainted feeling doesnt let my soul rest

It still wants to find answers which are not there.

Having everything u ever wanted in your grasp..

and then loosing all of it in an instant like a flash..

Your feet trying to find some ground as u fall

your dreams..hopes..fantasies..all cut down with a slash..

In the midst of all this..

I wish i knew how to recover...

i wish i had a plan to surrender...

starting from scratch a'int that easy..

wishing everyday that u wont remember ...

some people try to find the missing pieces of their puzzle...

Some fall to the abyss ...

But i forgot what game i had to play in the hustle..

In the midst of all this...