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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Wo aankhen..!!




तेरी  इन आँखों में मैं डूबना चाहता हूँ ..
तैरना नहीं आता है पर फिर भी इनकी इनकी हदें जाना चाहता हूँ 
ना जाने किनारा मिलेगा या तल  
दूरियां नहीं तो कम से मैं इनकी गहराईयां नापना चाहता हूँ । 

तेरी आँखों मैं एक कषिष सी  है 
जो मुझे तुझसे कभी रूठने नहीं देती 
काश ये आँखें ही मेरी  इबादत होती 
मंदिर , मस्जिद और न जाने कितने ताज महल बनवा देता मैं 

इन आँखों ने मुझे एक नयी रौशनी दी है 
दीखता तो पहले भी था पर उजाला अब हुआ है 

इस भोर की सुबह होने मैं न जाने कितना वक़्त लग गया 
शायद सही कहते हैं लोग की कामयाभी हर किसी को नहीं मिलती 
वो उन्हें मिलती है जो किनारापरवाह किये  बिना ही गोता लगते हैं 
 न की उन्हें जो किनारे पे बैठ कर गहरायी नापते हैं 

तुम्हारी इन आँखों के बारे में मैं क्या कहूं 
हर बार जबान खुलती है पर लफ्ज़ नहीं आ पाते 
मू खोलता हूँ तो अलफ़ाज़ साथ नहीं देते 
और कुछ न कहूं तो दिल मैं अफ़सोस होता है की इतनी खूबसूरत चीज़ के बारे में दुनिया अनजान है। 

 खूबसूरत वो नहीं होता  जिसे अपने होने का गुरूर हो
असली खूबसूरत वो है जिसे अपनी खूबसूरती का एहसास भी नै हो
उसकी मासूमियत ही उसकी खूबसूरती मैं चार चाँद लगा देती है 
हीरे को हीरे की वक़त नहीं होती , उसके लिए तो वो अभी भी कोयला ही होता है 
हीरे को वक़त होती है तो उस जोहरी को , जो उसे देख कर उसकी कीमत आंक लेता है 

मैं भी एक हार हुआ जोहरी था जो अब कोयला धोये जा रहा था ,
न जाने कैसे ये कोहिनूर मेरी झोली मैं आ गिरा 
इस बहुमूल्य हीरे की कीमत मुझे पता है,
बस कोशिश यही है की उस हीरे को खुद उसकी कीमत समझा पाऊं 

यही जददोजहत में मैं हर बार खो जाता हूँ 
पर फिर सामने से तेरी वो चमकती आँखें मुझे बुलाती हैं 
और मेरी सारी मायूसी एक पल मैं गायब हो जाती है 
वो दो आँखें मेरे दो सूरज हैं जिनका कभी अस्त नहीं होता। 
उनकी रौशनी में मैं अपनी पूरी ज़िन्दगी बिताना चाहता  हूँ 
बस अब इंतज़ार है तो बस इस बात का 
की कब वो आँखें इन आँखों में अपना घरोंदा  बनाएंगी. 

Sunday, May 1, 2016

I Found Mine





Walking alone , on a path less trodden,
i was lost and didn't know where was i being led ,
instead of stopping, i kept on walking,
and my destination found me instead.

My destination wasn't a place, or a finish line. It was the silhouette of a person standing in a distance. Its hard to know you have reached your destination when you don't know what you were looking for.
As i walked a little closer the highlights became clearer. i counted 2 arms , 2 legs and 2 wings.

i was shocked to see that after walking so long, after being lost for so long i had found my guardian angel. I was frozen and didn't know what to do. do i go ahead and meet this person that i had become sure did not exist or was this just a figment of my imagination, my brain showing me what i wanted to see.

i asked loudly, "who are you ". A light shined , and the clouds cleared up to shower the light on this angel.




My eyes widened, my legs froze and my heart skipped a beat at this miracle. The dark silhouette changed to a dazzling white silhouette of light in the night. It was at this exact moment that i found something in me. I felt as if i had been longing for something my entire life and finally it was in front of me. But knowing my luck i wasn't sure if it was there to stay or to fade away.

There were a lot of voices in my head. some of them telling me to run , to not raise my expectations, that this was also a lie. But among those hundreds of voices was a small and hesitant voice. As time passed this voice became clearer and louder. It said " You haven't come this far to turn back now. i don't know if its meant to be or not but if you let it go now you might regret it for the rest of your life. Take the leap forward and maybe you will fall. But what if you don't...... what if this is what you were always looking for. what if this is it. Isn't this "IF" worth taking a risk for."



I gathered up my courage and inched forward. With each step the silhouette grew brighter and brighter. And then suddenly in that star of light i saw two arms opening up as if inviting me in.


 Tears rolled down my eyes as i rushed to this image and embraced it in my arms.

I could feel things in me that i had long forgotten. I felt complete. I felt at peace. 

Overwhelmed with so many emotions i could not from a proper sentence so what came out of my mouth was "Why?"

The light finally spoke in a heavenly booming voice. " I am the destination to your journey, i am the reward to your hard work, i am the fruit to your suffering, i am what you want and more importantly i am what you need. I am your angel and i am here to stay."

I could not believe my ears. I just stared at the light and felt a sense of warmth in me. 

I realized something that day. Sometimes in order to find your destination , you have to get lost sometimes. In order to find what what you were looking for , you have to forget about it sometimes. In order to be at peace, you have to fight a war before. In order to find the shade, you have to walk in the sun before. Because its only those who persevere, who find their destination 

                                               I finally found Mine.


Sunday, February 7, 2016

Wo Taazi Hawa ka Jhoonka



वो समां था थमा हुआ
वो आँधियों ने भी था रुख मोड़ा 
इस बवंडरों की महफ़िल मैं
खामोशी ने साथ न छोड़ा

जब हवा मैं मायूसी थी 
और मरुस्थली था मेरा जहान 
तब चला एक ताज़ी हवा का झोंका
और ले गया वो मेरी सारी थकान

मेरे हर रोम रोम को जैसे वो सहला गया 
मेरी सारी चोटों पर जैसे मलहम लगा गया 

जिन आँखों की चमक थी गायब
उनमे वो अपनी चकाचोंद भर गया 
निकली थी खुद वो एक राही बन के 
पर अब किसी की मंज़िल बन गयी 

एक अजीब सा सुकून था उस्के अक्स में 
मेरी अंदर की आग को शीतल कर गया 
कुछ जादू ही था उसके स्पर्श में 
की इस मरुस्थली मैं भी वो फूल उगा गया 

एक अरसे के बाद इस दिल ने वो धड़कन महसूस की है 
रागों मैं बहते खून की गर्मी महसूस की है 
भूल ही गया था मैं की प्यार क्या होता है 
आज पहली बार होठों पे वो नमी महसूस की है. 

मायूसी ने समां बंध रखा था यहाँ 
आज ये सहर खुशियाँ खीच लायी है 
उस परवरदिगार की रहमत ही है ये 
जो ताज़ी हवा का झोंका खींच लायी है 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Kabhi Dhoop Kabhi Chaav..!!


Jin sapno ke motiyon ko dil main piroya tha,
aaj wo tumne aankhon se baha diye.
Jin khwabon aur khayalon ko phoolon se sajaya tha,
Aaj wo sab tumne ek phoonk se hi murrjha diye.
Jin sunahare dino ko yaad kar k dil khush hota tha..
Aaj wo tumne peetal aur taamba bana diye..
Tumhari har baat ko dil se chipka ke rakha tha,
Na jane kyun tum ye dil hi cheer k chal diye.

Humne to apna bhala bura sonchna chhod diya tha,
Aankhen band kar manzil ki or chale the.
Dil main bharosa aur hath main hath liye,
tumhari zindagi k tarazu main apni khushiyon ko taul chale the.

Hume kya maalum tha ki aadhe raste main tumhara hath choot jayega,
Aankhen khone pe bhi sirf andhera hi andhera nazar aayega.
Lakh pukarne pe bhi tumhari aahat tak mehsoos nahi hui,
shayad main hi pagal tha jo akele hi mazil ki aor chala ja raha tha.

Sath rehne ki kasme khayi thi , vaada kiya tha..
aaj unhi ko todte waqt tumne ek baar na soncha.
Tumhe chot na aaye to sahara ban k piche khada tha,
tumhi ghayal kar k chali jaogi, ek baar na tha soncha.


Syahi se jo likha tha , aankhon se nikli boonden baha gayi,
jo khoon main likha tha use kaise mitaun,?
Aap to khushi khushi alvida keh k chal diye,
Jo gulistaan maine basaya tha use kaise hataun.?

Gir k khada hona seekha hi tha,
Aaj shayad taang hi toot gayi.
ladkhada k chalna seekha hi tha 
ki zindagi apahij banane aa gayi.

Koi baat nahi humsafar, Ye bhi jhel lenge,
Ye dil mazboot hai, Ise bhi seh lenge.
Jitni dhoop badhani hai badha lo aee saaki.
Hum bhi musafir hai , Chav dhoond hi lenge.!!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

MAYBE..!!



Sometimes i don't get this world. We say that life is not about the destination but about the journey. Then why did this journey have to be so confusing and unclear. You are asked to make goals and work towards them but no one tells us which way to take when you reach some cross roads working towards them.

Many times i have felt that having walked on way for quite some time you realize that that was'nt the path you should have taken. When you realize this you have two choices. Either retrace your path back till the point you find the right diversion and take the other way or carry on your current path hoping that it will lead your destined path somewhere in the future.

On this branching tertiary path system there are no wrong paths since all of them reach the same destination...Death. All that matters is how you reach there and the experience s you gain on the way. So that when the final day comes and you are transcending this world you have no regrets and no pending wishes which you kept postponing waiting for the right time.

Sometimes the right time is now.!!

The problem comes, as in my case, is when you know the destination but don't know what way to take to reach there. Unable to understand what to focus on.! Which path to take since all the paths look equally good. Being too scared that i wont be able to retrace my steps once i move forward. Too unsure of the path to take next. Being pressured by my family to go ahead on one path,  peer pressured driving me to yet another and my mind wanting to skip all this and take a completely different path.!

So many options but which one is correct..!! Which is the RIGHT CHOICE..!!

During my long and intensive Application and Interview process i was asked various question like
Why MBA?
Why NOW?
etc etc

which after a lot of practice and revision i answered as per the expectations of the reviewer but these questions raised similar questions inside my head and i could not convince myself.!

The problem here is not about not knowing what to do but instead trying to do too many things and not knowing how to put priorities for them.

People often tell me that life is too long and i have a long time ahead of me to figure this all out. The problem is that seeing the majority of people living a boring life and hating their everyday monotonous work life ( me being one of them) makes me wonder that does this regular lifestyle makes life feel longer..!! Would it feel shorter if i led a more meaningful life ..! Something that was much more emancipating that my current life..!! Maybe traveling..!! Maybe working for an NGO..!! Maybe doing a Marketing Job..!!

What i wouldn't give if i could just know the answer..!! But i guess the torment is part of the journey..!! Maybe the pressure , the guilt, the confusion, the despair and the fear are all an integral part of the journey. Maybe they will shape up my future along with everything else..!! MAYBE..!!


Sunday, March 30, 2014

Trying to Find My Passion..!!



Clueless , Confused, Skeptical and Scared...
Trying to do something that i never dared..
Forced to accept this monotonous Lifestyle...Always told by others to take the safest side.

Stuck in quicksand...not ready to accept my fate...
Knowing that this wasn't for what i was made..
But not knowing what was i made for..
Desperately need to know that before i completely sink in..!!




Monday, November 11, 2013

The Long Wait...



 Like the new bride's wait to see the Full Moon...
Or the happiness of the bees awaiting the Summer Bloom..
 I wait for my heart to start beating soon..
As i count the days for the return of my Monsoon..  

Like the first drop of rain on the scorched , cracked Soil..
Like a mother seeing her baby after all the turmoil..
I wait to look at those bright brown eyes..
Those lashes...those lips...that soothing big smile...

Bereft of light even a diamond appears as stone..
But bring a ray of light and it's sparkle just grows..
Coping up somehow as the Days pass by...
Waiting for my wind that always helped me fly...

My vision is so blurred and my touch so lifeless..
I cant find happiness in the regular life's shabbiness...
I am just a body with a missing hollow core..
I await my Gabriel who always made me whole..!!









Saturday, November 2, 2013

The "BOX Culture"



Sitting in my cubicle one late evening working on some Customer Issues i realized something that scared me a little. Having worked in the IT Industry for more than 2 years now i realized how much it had changed me.It was making me something that i never wanted to be.
It was making me Box in myself and feel ok about it.The 4 walls in office....and the 4 walls of my room after coming back from office...That was it..! The only out of the BOX experience i got daily was the ride to office and back. It feels so pathetic to call that as the most exciting thing of the day given bangalore's traffic..!!!
But the worst thing was that even though this "Living in the BOX" was getting under my skin but my life was slowly changing into this Monotone of order.The best thing about life is its wondrous unpredictability but somehow i was fine living in these boxes.
I could feel a part of me dying everyday but still i was going through each day living in the BOX since changing things required a fresh perspective and fresh effort and i didn't know where to start.With every passing day the effort grew and my determination shrunk.But thankfully on the verge of completely loosing it i found my Vent....!!

Friday, April 26, 2013

You blew me Away..!!



I wish i had words,to describe how i felt.
I thought i was stone but you made it melt.
I never thought i had it in me,
the love,the passion,the carefree glee.

I wandered high and i wandered low,
But i didn't find it anywhere,that i know,
When i stopped looking and had lost all hope,
I saw you in that velvet blue robe.

I dont think that you noticed me much,
but u were the one, i had a hunch,
U were surrounded by people all around,
But i found my chance and stood my ground,

Frankly i was never sure if it would ever happen,
you were the forbidden fruit and i was the adam.
the only difference in this story being,
that adam loved the fruit more than eve.!

You had me in the first 5 minutes we met,
But these 15 months have been the best days of my life, i bet,
You were there for me always and nothing made you sway,
i always fall short of words cause you blew me away..!!


Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Need to be Accepted




Well i was just talking to a friend of mine and was listening to her problem.Trying to give her advice on how to cope up and i figured something.
Something not just about her or me but about each one of us. Our "need to be accepted". It could be need to be accepted socially..or in a corporate world...or by your parents etc etc.... the list just goes on and on.
And that got me wondering that each one of us has a special set of people or a group in our life from whom we expect acceptance. Ad we try our best...sometimes our whole life to receive acceptance which might succeed sometimes or might end up as a futile attempt which lasted a life time.
Now while i was giving up advice to this friend of mine i realized something that we cannot rule this aspect or human nature from our life however hard it might seem.We cannot overlook the fact that we need acceptance to strive in society and to many times accept ourselves. We can argue that "why do i need acceptance form someone else..?" ..."I like who and what i am and i don't need someone else telling me that i am alright.." . You can be the most bad ass person there is but you will always expect acceptance from someone or the other. A thug accepts it from a bigger thug... in the corporate world we work hard to be accepted by our peers and bosses... As children we study hard and get good grades to be accepted by our family and friends. You cannot survive your whole life without acceptance. If you don't get it from the conventional people and methods you will find someone or something that will accept you the way you are.
Because at the end of the day everyone wants to be acknowledged for who he is.
I get the fact that you cannot expect acceptance from everyone you want. in many cases you will be accepted by only a small fraction of people in your life for what you actually are. Each one of us has a set of people who end up not accepting us for what we are but at the end of the day you need to decide your priorities.Great men ... most of them.. Einstein...Edison...Lincoln...were always ridiculed and were not accepted in the society initially for who they were and what they believed in.But they ended up finding acceptance in the work they did and their peers. Well later on the same society accepted them as heroes too.But had they not received any acceptance from any one or as long they lived they would have died a phantom death much before their actual one.
I don't say that this need to be accepted is bad. In fact i believe it is one of the driving factors which helps us conjure up enough courage after a rejection to try again to be accepted. I believe we need to have a set of people from whom we expect acceptance.This helps us grow...learn..and strive for success. Plain success without acceptance doesn't mount up to much. The only thing is that we need to be careful in figuring out this set of people. You should not expect acceptance from someone who is an irrational fool not ready to understand or indulge. You would not receive it form him..what ever you do...but instead you will always be let down.Find tat one person that accepts you the way you are ad that will make the journey a lot easier that striving all your life to be accepted by fools with hats.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

This Awesome Brain




I sometimes think and wonder..
What is this mystic bundle..
Which carries a memorial jungle..
Yet sometimes it does mumble..

Its brilliant and bright and full of life..
It see's the light in the darkest of eyes..
I love its ability to imagine anything..
A spaceship..a Superhero..and a million other things..

It gives you some answers but a lot many doubts..
It gives you some smiles but a lot many shouts..
I has the ability to solve anything..
But still be apathetic and procrastinating..

Its harsh and gentle with a touch of surprise.. 
Its your best friend and enemy but makes you feel alive..
It causes insomnia and creates wonderous dreams..
Its diabolical..and Brash yet likes to Glean..

You try all your life to understand how it works
But how much ever you unravel, it has the final smirk..
At times it might get a little cloudy and judgemental..
But its Rational and Logical and love to Fiddle..

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Ghar Chhod Chale..!!




जिस मिटटी की खुशबू पे बड़े हुए 
वो खुशबू को दुर्गन्ध बोल मुह मोड़ चले 
जिस संकरी छोटी गली में पूरा बचपन काटा 
आज उन गलियों को ही कचरा बोल चले ..!

जिन लोगों के बीच बड़े हुए 
आज उन्हें ही पिछड़ा बोल चले 
जिन घरो की खिड़कियाँ तोड़ी थी 
आज उन्हें ही जर्जर बोल चले ..!

बारिश में जिन छतों पर नाचे थे 
आज उन्हें ही exposed बोल चले 
जिन नेहरों में  कागज़ की नाव चलाईं थी 
आज उन्हें ही नाला बोल चले ..!

जो शाम का इंतज़ार करते थे 
वो अब अँधेरे का इंतज़ार कर चले 
जो खुल के सबसे मिलते थे 
वो अब छुप छुप के ही रह चले ..!
 
दोस्त बदले ... ठिकाना बदला .. सारे रिश्तों से दूर हुए 
बड़ा आदमी बन्ने के लिए हम अपनों से दूर चले 
पैसा कमाया .. नाम कमाया .. पैरों पे तो खड़े हुए 
पर जब अपनों की ज़िम्मेदारी का नंबर आया 
तो हम अपना घर छोड़ चले ..!!




 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Wo Bezubaan Lamhe ..!!



Wo nazuk se pal yaad aate hain...
Jb hum har fizool baat pe haste the..
Jab ghar k har kone main hum hi baste the..
Jab darwane se jhankne par wo galiyaan hume bulati thi...
Hum haste haste jate the..Kabhi girte the kabhi gaate the..

Itne barson baad bhi wo galiyaan abhi bi waisi hain..
Ab hum jaane se katrate hain..wo fir bhi hume bulati hain..

Wo bhaagte hue girne pe pehli choat..
Wo zindagi ki haari hui pehi daud..
Wo gaal pe khaya hua pehla jhapad..
Wo doosron ki shaadiyon pe thode hue anginat pappad..!!

Wo pehle pyaar ki wo pehli jhalak..
Wo use dekhne k liye istemaal ki gayi wo sooni sadak..
Wo bhagwaan k sath strike ki gayi wo pehli deal..
Wo coaching bunk kar k dekhi gayi wo pehli reel...

Wo chup chup k raat ko uske call attend karna..
Wo college k form k paison se uske recharge kara kara k marna..
Valentine's day par wo fool prof plan banana...
Aur uske ghar se na nikal pane poora din phone pe bitana...

Wo sharab ka piya hua pehla jaam
Wo doston k sath kiye gaye wo nirlajja kaam..
Wo ghar pe sabse lad k bahar bhaag jana..
Par fir bhi us ek insaan ki har baat ko sir chadana..

Wo man main anginat khayali pulao banana..
Aur roz use kisi aur se baat karte dekh jal k ghar aana..
Wo uski kahi gayi movie ko raat bhar jag k bhi dekhna..
Wo uske ek aansu pe duniya jahan ek karna...

Wo ghar walon ki har cheez uske saamne baimaani lagna..
Wo pehli baar dil tootne pe bhar bhar k khud ko kosna..
Wo jee jaan se koshish karne pe bhi use na bhool pana..
Wo doston aur sharab main uske khayaon ko dubana..
Wo har doosri bandi main use hi dekhna..
Wo har couple ko dekh k ek hi baat sonch k reh jana..

Wo bezubaan lamhe yaad aate hain..!!!

Wo saalon baad kisi ko fir se chahna..
Wo uski har ada par jhatke khana..
Wo use har roz dil ki baat bolna chahna..
Par use poori tarah khone k dar se chup reh jana..

Wo har din uski koi nayi baat sonch k haste rehna..
Aur usse chupane ki poori koshish karna..
Usse ki gayi phone pe wo pehli baat ka time bhi yaad hona..
Usse bheje gaya har message mu zubani yaad hona...

Wo finally use apne dil ki baat batana...
Uska jawaab sune bina hi khush ho jana..
Wo uske mana karne pe dil ka band ho jana..
Aur fir bhi apna dukh use na dikhana,..

Wo dil har k fir se kaam ko hi zindagi banana...
Wo raat raat tak office main bitana...
Wo dobara usse darte darte baat karna...
Aur uske "i love u" bolne pe kahin kho jana..


Wo bezubaan lamhe yaad aate hain..!!!



Sunday, April 22, 2012

M gonna try...!!

It's really hard to define human... Sometimes it's rash and sometimes it's just too morbid.. U crave for something with all your life.. And when finally have it you move on to find something new.. U cry when u lose but always winning also doesn't make u happy .. U aim for a smaller goal and when's have it u don't know what to aim for next..
We slack off instead of working hard and still get the job done... Then why we're we ever taught those values to begin with... I wonder so many times how we were taught... How to judge what's right and what's wrong.. But how can people who lived 3 decades before us tel us what's right in our time.. I wonder how this human brain works...
 It's humane at times and the next moment we want to kill our boss.. We see a puppy on the road and we smile but we never feel sad for its mother who was the road kill we saw and drove past it.. We like to stay in our protective cocoon but we would spring out savage if anything hurt our family... We are the sane creatures we want others to be but we are diabolical at the same time.. U would see one guy helping a blind guy cross the street And another guy honking his horn on an old lady trying to cross the road on a zebra crossing..
 We set our standards too high for others but it's easy for us to not follow them.. We do obnoxious things to get our love but on getting her we complain of having lost that spark.. We carry on without lives complaining that it's just too monotonous ... But we ourselves don't wanna provide the change since we are so used to it now... We tell others tonns of eye opening advice but when it comes to ourselves we forget the first word we preached.. We live complaining and we die discontent never realizing that we had the power all along..
 I found my high school slam book and gave it a read.... I was so explosive and full of life.. My imagination was always out of the box.. But I guess the crutches of the corporate world got to me too deep... I regret my boring life..I regret not having any adventure or element of danger in it.. I tried a little but gave in to my routine.. I want my life back...I want my zeal back.. Playing safe and being calculative might make u live longer But that's not a life I wanted for me when I saw myself.. Al I need to realize is that it's not over yet... Human brain is a tool...and u can materialize your imagination if u just try...
M gonna try..!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Parents...




The weirdest creation by god..
Yet the loveliest..
Its hard to stay with them when u r kids..
And hard to stay away when we are big..

They grow and they grow and they seldom learn
They are a true case of Benjamin Button..
As we grow into them they grow into us..
Like kids when we were and always made a fuss..

They taught us so much and we learned so little...
We resented them as kids and just wanted to fiddle..
They went through so much to make us what we are ...
And when it was our turn we sent them so far..

Its not fair how this world functions..
They are the remnants of our current conjunction..
Nothing is fair and Nothing lasts for ever..
But it does not mean that our bonds should sever..

They are not perfect ..so are we..
But we tend to forget the latter in their case when we please..
They taught us to walk ..they taught us to run..
Never did they think we would use it to get away from them and run..

They took care of us as kids and now its our time...
We shall take care of them until they are fine..
They never cribbed or made an excuse..
And now we will be there for them..not caring if they are obtuse.. 

Patience is a virtue ..thats what we were taught..
Now we need to remember that for this lot..
They never mean anything wrong in what they say..
Maybe its their timing or just their way..

Whatever be the reason they are still our mum and dad
And we shall always be indebted to them ..for we are glad..
They are the reason for our name and success..
And we are proud of them for being our parents in good times and distress.. !!







Thursday, December 22, 2011

Aage kya hoga..!!




Chattan k shikhar pe khada...neeche dekhta hun main....
Ek gehri kaali andheri khaai mujhe ghoorti hai...
Par main udna chahta hun...machalna chahta hun...
Itne arson baad fir se apne murjhaye pankhon ke niche wo hawa mehsoos ki hai...
Fir se wo taazgi mehsoos ki hai...dil main wo tarkash mehsoos ki hai...
Aage kya hoga nai pata...udunga ya andhere main kho jaunga...nai pata...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

To be or not to be..!!!




The one question that lingers in my mind from time to time..
Should we be what we should or should we be what we are...
I wish i knew the answer or knew how to get it somehow..
I don't know whats worse..not knowing the answer
or not being able to get the question out of my head..!!

I have been on both sides or this treacherous river..
Both banks looked right when i was on it..
It was not a question of abstinence or indulgence...
it was a question or realizing my true nature..
Is it hedonistic or austere...evil or pure..

Whats this urge to switch sides which comes and goes from time to time..
Why cant i keep myself steady on one bank without looking at the other side..
Things which seemed wrong earlier ..seem right now..
and things which were fun earlier have a way of becoming foul...
we try to fight our sudden urges but seldom fail...
The question is not "why couldn't we ?"...but "should we..?"


I think about it sometimes..mostly drowning it in thoughts of something else..
There is so much confusion and so many routes..its hard to filter one out..
I thought of giving faith a try ... thinking what do i have to loose...
The path was tough and absolutely new..for a non believer fool...
I had tried it earlier but always failed..but this time i gave it all i had
And to my amazement something absolutely unexpected happened..

I found that all things happen for the greater good..
just that without faith its hard to gulp that down...
I gave it a shot and it didn't turn me down...
it helped me whenever i was about to drown...
I searched for this guardian angel all my life..
and now that i found it i dont knw whom to follow...

At the end of the day the biggest question still remains...

WHO AM I..??