The Long Wait...

 Like the new bride's wait to see the Full Moon...

Or the happiness of the bees awaiting the Summer Bloom..

 I wait for my heart to start beating soon..

As i count the days for the return of my Monsoon..  

Like the first drop of rain on the scorched , cracked Soil..

Like a mother seeing her baby after all the turmoil..

I wait to look at those bright brown eyes..

Those lashes...those lips...that soothing big smile...

Bereft of light even a diamond appears as stone..

But bring a ray of light and it's sparkle just grows..

Coping up somehow as the Days pass by...

Waiting for my wind that always helped me fly...

My vision is so blurred and my touch so lifeless..

I cant find happiness in the regular life's shabbiness...

I am just a body with a missing hollow core..

I await my Gabriel who always made me whole..!!

The "BOX Culture"

Sitting in my cubicle one late evening working on some Customer Issues i realized something that scared me a little. Having worked in the IT Industry for more than 2 years now i realized how much it had changed me.It was making me something that i never wanted to be.
It was making me Box in myself and feel ok about it.The 4 walls in office....and the 4 walls of my room after coming back from office...That was it..! The only out of the BOX experience i got daily was the ride to office and back. It feels so pathetic to call that as the most exciting thing of the day given bangalore's traffic..!!!
But the worst thing was that even though this "Living in the BOX" was getting under my skin but my life was slowly changing into this Monotone of order.The best thing about life is its wondrous unpredictability but somehow i was fine living in these boxes.
I could feel a part of me dying everyday but still i was going through each day living in the BOX since changing things required a fresh perspective and fresh effort and i didn't know where to start.With every passing day the effort grew and my determination shrunk.But thankfully on the verge of completely loosing it i found my Vent....!!

You blew me Away..!!

I wish i had words,to describe how i felt.

I thought i was stone but you made it melt.

I never thought i had it in me,

the love,the passion,the carefree glee.

I wandered high and i wandered low,

But i didn't find it anywhere,that i know,

When i stopped looking and had lost all hope,

I saw you in that velvet blue robe.

I dont think that you noticed me much,

but u were the one, i had a hunch,

U were surrounded by people all around,

But i found my chance and stood my ground,

Frankly i was never sure if it would ever happen,

you were the forbidden fruit and i was the adam.

the only difference in this story being,

that adam loved the fruit more than eve.!

You had me in the first 5 minutes we met,

But these 15 months have been the best days of my life, i bet,

You were there for me always and nothing made you sway,

i always fall short of words cause you blew me away..!!

The Need to be Accepted

Well i was just talking to a friend of mine and was listening to her problem.Trying to give her advice on how to cope up and i figured something.
Something not just about her or me but about each one of us. Our "need to be accepted". It could be need to be accepted socially..or in a corporate world...or by your parents etc etc.... the list just goes on and on.
And that got me wondering that each one of us has a special set of people or a group in our life from whom we expect acceptance. Ad we try our best...sometimes our whole life to receive acceptance which might succeed sometimes or might end up as a futile attempt which lasted a life time.
Now while i was giving up advice to this friend of mine i realized something that we cannot rule this aspect or human nature from our life however hard it might seem.We cannot overlook the fact that we need acceptance to strive in society and to many times accept ourselves. We can argue that "why do i need acceptance form someone else..?" ..."I like who and what i am and i don't need someone else telling me that i am alright.." . You can be the most bad ass person there is but you will always expect acceptance from someone or the other. A thug accepts it from a bigger thug... in the corporate world we work hard to be accepted by our peers and bosses... As children we study hard and get good grades to be accepted by our family and friends. You cannot survive your whole life without acceptance. If you don't get it from the conventional people and methods you will find someone or something that will accept you the way you are.
Because at the end of the day everyone wants to be acknowledged for who he is.
I get the fact that you cannot expect acceptance from everyone you want. in many cases you will be accepted by only a small fraction of people in your life for what you actually are. Each one of us has a set of people who end up not accepting us for what we are but at the end of the day you need to decide your priorities.Great men ... most of them.. Einstein...Edison...Lincoln...were always ridiculed and were not accepted in the society initially for who they were and what they believed in.But they ended up finding acceptance in the work they did and their peers. Well later on the same society accepted them as heroes too.But had they not received any acceptance from any one or as long they lived they would have died a phantom death much before their actual one.
I don't say that this need to be accepted is bad. In fact i believe it is one of the driving factors which helps us conjure up enough courage after a rejection to try again to be accepted. I believe we need to have a set of people from whom we expect acceptance.This helps us grow...learn..and strive for success. Plain success without acceptance doesn't mount up to much. The only thing is that we need to be careful in figuring out this set of people. You should not expect acceptance from someone who is an irrational fool not ready to understand or indulge. You would not receive it form him..what ever you do...but instead you will always be let down.Find tat one person that accepts you the way you are ad that will make the journey a lot easier that striving all your life to be accepted by fools with hats.