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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Wo aankhen..!!




तेरी  इन आँखों में मैं डूबना चाहता हूँ ..
तैरना नहीं आता है पर फिर भी इनकी इनकी हदें जाना चाहता हूँ 
ना जाने किनारा मिलेगा या तल  
दूरियां नहीं तो कम से मैं इनकी गहराईयां नापना चाहता हूँ । 

तेरी आँखों मैं एक कषिष सी  है 
जो मुझे तुझसे कभी रूठने नहीं देती 
काश ये आँखें ही मेरी  इबादत होती 
मंदिर , मस्जिद और न जाने कितने ताज महल बनवा देता मैं 

इन आँखों ने मुझे एक नयी रौशनी दी है 
दीखता तो पहले भी था पर उजाला अब हुआ है 

इस भोर की सुबह होने मैं न जाने कितना वक़्त लग गया 
शायद सही कहते हैं लोग की कामयाभी हर किसी को नहीं मिलती 
वो उन्हें मिलती है जो किनारापरवाह किये  बिना ही गोता लगते हैं 
 न की उन्हें जो किनारे पे बैठ कर गहरायी नापते हैं 

तुम्हारी इन आँखों के बारे में मैं क्या कहूं 
हर बार जबान खुलती है पर लफ्ज़ नहीं आ पाते 
मू खोलता हूँ तो अलफ़ाज़ साथ नहीं देते 
और कुछ न कहूं तो दिल मैं अफ़सोस होता है की इतनी खूबसूरत चीज़ के बारे में दुनिया अनजान है। 

 खूबसूरत वो नहीं होता  जिसे अपने होने का गुरूर हो
असली खूबसूरत वो है जिसे अपनी खूबसूरती का एहसास भी नै हो
उसकी मासूमियत ही उसकी खूबसूरती मैं चार चाँद लगा देती है 
हीरे को हीरे की वक़त नहीं होती , उसके लिए तो वो अभी भी कोयला ही होता है 
हीरे को वक़त होती है तो उस जोहरी को , जो उसे देख कर उसकी कीमत आंक लेता है 

मैं भी एक हार हुआ जोहरी था जो अब कोयला धोये जा रहा था ,
न जाने कैसे ये कोहिनूर मेरी झोली मैं आ गिरा 
इस बहुमूल्य हीरे की कीमत मुझे पता है,
बस कोशिश यही है की उस हीरे को खुद उसकी कीमत समझा पाऊं 

यही जददोजहत में मैं हर बार खो जाता हूँ 
पर फिर सामने से तेरी वो चमकती आँखें मुझे बुलाती हैं 
और मेरी सारी मायूसी एक पल मैं गायब हो जाती है 
वो दो आँखें मेरे दो सूरज हैं जिनका कभी अस्त नहीं होता। 
उनकी रौशनी में मैं अपनी पूरी ज़िन्दगी बिताना चाहता  हूँ 
बस अब इंतज़ार है तो बस इस बात का 
की कब वो आँखें इन आँखों में अपना घरोंदा  बनाएंगी. 

Sunday, May 1, 2016

I Found Mine





Walking alone , on a path less trodden,
i was lost and didn't know where was i being led ,
instead of stopping, i kept on walking,
and my destination found me instead.

My destination wasn't a place, or a finish line. It was the silhouette of a person standing in a distance. Its hard to know you have reached your destination when you don't know what you were looking for.
As i walked a little closer the highlights became clearer. i counted 2 arms , 2 legs and 2 wings.

i was shocked to see that after walking so long, after being lost for so long i had found my guardian angel. I was frozen and didn't know what to do. do i go ahead and meet this person that i had become sure did not exist or was this just a figment of my imagination, my brain showing me what i wanted to see.

i asked loudly, "who are you ". A light shined , and the clouds cleared up to shower the light on this angel.




My eyes widened, my legs froze and my heart skipped a beat at this miracle. The dark silhouette changed to a dazzling white silhouette of light in the night. It was at this exact moment that i found something in me. I felt as if i had been longing for something my entire life and finally it was in front of me. But knowing my luck i wasn't sure if it was there to stay or to fade away.

There were a lot of voices in my head. some of them telling me to run , to not raise my expectations, that this was also a lie. But among those hundreds of voices was a small and hesitant voice. As time passed this voice became clearer and louder. It said " You haven't come this far to turn back now. i don't know if its meant to be or not but if you let it go now you might regret it for the rest of your life. Take the leap forward and maybe you will fall. But what if you don't...... what if this is what you were always looking for. what if this is it. Isn't this "IF" worth taking a risk for."



I gathered up my courage and inched forward. With each step the silhouette grew brighter and brighter. And then suddenly in that star of light i saw two arms opening up as if inviting me in.


 Tears rolled down my eyes as i rushed to this image and embraced it in my arms.

I could feel things in me that i had long forgotten. I felt complete. I felt at peace. 

Overwhelmed with so many emotions i could not from a proper sentence so what came out of my mouth was "Why?"

The light finally spoke in a heavenly booming voice. " I am the destination to your journey, i am the reward to your hard work, i am the fruit to your suffering, i am what you want and more importantly i am what you need. I am your angel and i am here to stay."

I could not believe my ears. I just stared at the light and felt a sense of warmth in me. 

I realized something that day. Sometimes in order to find your destination , you have to get lost sometimes. In order to find what what you were looking for , you have to forget about it sometimes. In order to be at peace, you have to fight a war before. In order to find the shade, you have to walk in the sun before. Because its only those who persevere, who find their destination 

                                               I finally found Mine.


Sunday, February 7, 2016

Wo Taazi Hawa ka Jhoonka



वो समां था थमा हुआ
वो आँधियों ने भी था रुख मोड़ा 
इस बवंडरों की महफ़िल मैं
खामोशी ने साथ न छोड़ा

जब हवा मैं मायूसी थी 
और मरुस्थली था मेरा जहान 
तब चला एक ताज़ी हवा का झोंका
और ले गया वो मेरी सारी थकान

मेरे हर रोम रोम को जैसे वो सहला गया 
मेरी सारी चोटों पर जैसे मलहम लगा गया 

जिन आँखों की चमक थी गायब
उनमे वो अपनी चकाचोंद भर गया 
निकली थी खुद वो एक राही बन के 
पर अब किसी की मंज़िल बन गयी 

एक अजीब सा सुकून था उस्के अक्स में 
मेरी अंदर की आग को शीतल कर गया 
कुछ जादू ही था उसके स्पर्श में 
की इस मरुस्थली मैं भी वो फूल उगा गया 

एक अरसे के बाद इस दिल ने वो धड़कन महसूस की है 
रागों मैं बहते खून की गर्मी महसूस की है 
भूल ही गया था मैं की प्यार क्या होता है 
आज पहली बार होठों पे वो नमी महसूस की है. 

मायूसी ने समां बंध रखा था यहाँ 
आज ये सहर खुशियाँ खीच लायी है 
उस परवरदिगार की रहमत ही है ये 
जो ताज़ी हवा का झोंका खींच लायी है 

Monday, September 8, 2014

Kabhi Dhoop Kabhi Chaav..!!


Jin sapno ke motiyon ko dil main piroya tha,
aaj wo tumne aankhon se baha diye.
Jin khwabon aur khayalon ko phoolon se sajaya tha,
Aaj wo sab tumne ek phoonk se hi murrjha diye.
Jin sunahare dino ko yaad kar k dil khush hota tha..
Aaj wo tumne peetal aur taamba bana diye..
Tumhari har baat ko dil se chipka ke rakha tha,
Na jane kyun tum ye dil hi cheer k chal diye.

Humne to apna bhala bura sonchna chhod diya tha,
Aankhen band kar manzil ki or chale the.
Dil main bharosa aur hath main hath liye,
tumhari zindagi k tarazu main apni khushiyon ko taul chale the.

Hume kya maalum tha ki aadhe raste main tumhara hath choot jayega,
Aankhen khone pe bhi sirf andhera hi andhera nazar aayega.
Lakh pukarne pe bhi tumhari aahat tak mehsoos nahi hui,
shayad main hi pagal tha jo akele hi mazil ki aor chala ja raha tha.

Sath rehne ki kasme khayi thi , vaada kiya tha..
aaj unhi ko todte waqt tumne ek baar na soncha.
Tumhe chot na aaye to sahara ban k piche khada tha,
tumhi ghayal kar k chali jaogi, ek baar na tha soncha.


Syahi se jo likha tha , aankhon se nikli boonden baha gayi,
jo khoon main likha tha use kaise mitaun,?
Aap to khushi khushi alvida keh k chal diye,
Jo gulistaan maine basaya tha use kaise hataun.?

Gir k khada hona seekha hi tha,
Aaj shayad taang hi toot gayi.
ladkhada k chalna seekha hi tha 
ki zindagi apahij banane aa gayi.

Koi baat nahi humsafar, Ye bhi jhel lenge,
Ye dil mazboot hai, Ise bhi seh lenge.
Jitni dhoop badhani hai badha lo aee saaki.
Hum bhi musafir hai , Chav dhoond hi lenge.!!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

MAYBE..!!



Sometimes i don't get this world. We say that life is not about the destination but about the journey. Then why did this journey have to be so confusing and unclear. You are asked to make goals and work towards them but no one tells us which way to take when you reach some cross roads working towards them.

Many times i have felt that having walked on way for quite some time you realize that that was'nt the path you should have taken. When you realize this you have two choices. Either retrace your path back till the point you find the right diversion and take the other way or carry on your current path hoping that it will lead your destined path somewhere in the future.

On this branching tertiary path system there are no wrong paths since all of them reach the same destination...Death. All that matters is how you reach there and the experience s you gain on the way. So that when the final day comes and you are transcending this world you have no regrets and no pending wishes which you kept postponing waiting for the right time.

Sometimes the right time is now.!!

The problem comes, as in my case, is when you know the destination but don't know what way to take to reach there. Unable to understand what to focus on.! Which path to take since all the paths look equally good. Being too scared that i wont be able to retrace my steps once i move forward. Too unsure of the path to take next. Being pressured by my family to go ahead on one path,  peer pressured driving me to yet another and my mind wanting to skip all this and take a completely different path.!

So many options but which one is correct..!! Which is the RIGHT CHOICE..!!

During my long and intensive Application and Interview process i was asked various question like
Why MBA?
Why NOW?
etc etc

which after a lot of practice and revision i answered as per the expectations of the reviewer but these questions raised similar questions inside my head and i could not convince myself.!

The problem here is not about not knowing what to do but instead trying to do too many things and not knowing how to put priorities for them.

People often tell me that life is too long and i have a long time ahead of me to figure this all out. The problem is that seeing the majority of people living a boring life and hating their everyday monotonous work life ( me being one of them) makes me wonder that does this regular lifestyle makes life feel longer..!! Would it feel shorter if i led a more meaningful life ..! Something that was much more emancipating that my current life..!! Maybe traveling..!! Maybe working for an NGO..!! Maybe doing a Marketing Job..!!

What i wouldn't give if i could just know the answer..!! But i guess the torment is part of the journey..!! Maybe the pressure , the guilt, the confusion, the despair and the fear are all an integral part of the journey. Maybe they will shape up my future along with everything else..!! MAYBE..!!


Sunday, March 30, 2014

Trying to Find My Passion..!!



Clueless , Confused, Skeptical and Scared...
Trying to do something that i never dared..
Forced to accept this monotonous Lifestyle...Always told by others to take the safest side.

Stuck in quicksand...not ready to accept my fate...
Knowing that this wasn't for what i was made..
But not knowing what was i made for..
Desperately need to know that before i completely sink in..!!




Monday, November 11, 2013

The Long Wait...



 Like the new bride's wait to see the Full Moon...
Or the happiness of the bees awaiting the Summer Bloom..
 I wait for my heart to start beating soon..
As i count the days for the return of my Monsoon..  

Like the first drop of rain on the scorched , cracked Soil..
Like a mother seeing her baby after all the turmoil..
I wait to look at those bright brown eyes..
Those lashes...those lips...that soothing big smile...

Bereft of light even a diamond appears as stone..
But bring a ray of light and it's sparkle just grows..
Coping up somehow as the Days pass by...
Waiting for my wind that always helped me fly...

My vision is so blurred and my touch so lifeless..
I cant find happiness in the regular life's shabbiness...
I am just a body with a missing hollow core..
I await my Gabriel who always made me whole..!!